The Best Wingman of Them All
by turnabout-wez
Summary: "Don't worry, hyung! I'm a great wingman, da-ze!" / or the one where Yong Soo tries to find his cousin a girlfriend, Yao is definitely not checking out Elizabeta, and no one knows who Ivan is.


**Note: **Written for one of my best friends on Tumblr, mo-kappa. I'm still fairly new to the series, so forgive me if my characterization is a bit off. I haven't read very many of the comic strips, so Yong Soo is solely based on what I've observed in other fanfiction and what I've read on the wikipedia. Also, Hong Kong ended up being Leon because Li Xiao Chun is a mouthful.

* * *

For as long as Yong Soo could remember, his cousin had been alone. Yao wasn't alone physically - it was near impossible with a family as large as theirs - but alone in the sense of being somewhat _detached_ from the world around him. Not to say that Yao didn't have friends because he did, but it was more so the fact that he made a point not to get too close to them. Maintaining friendships, Yao used to tell him, was time-consuming, and with the lifestyle he lived, he needed all the time he could get.

As a junior at World University, Yao shared a two bedroom apartment with his brother, Kiku, and Yong Soo. Since neither of them had a job, Yao worked two jobs downtown, one as a barista in the café at the local bookstore and the other as a kitchen assistant at a restaurant. Between work and classes, Yao hardly ever had time for himself.

"You need to slow down, hyung. You work too much, da-ze," Yong Soo said one day. He was sprawled on the couch, laptop balanced on his knees. "One break every now and then won't kill you." He paused, giving Yao a scrutinizing look. "Then again, knowing you, it actually could, but the point still stands, da-ze."

"Yong Soo is right," Kiku agreed, nodding his agreement from the other side of the room. Unlike his cousin, he was being productive and cleaning the room as Kiku was prone to do. "It's not good for your health, aniki."

Yao sighed. It was one thing to hear it from Yong Soo, but when _Kiku _of all people called him out on his workaholic tendencies, it _had_ to be bad. Kiku was almost as stubborn as he was. If it weren't for the fact that Kiku was interning at some big-shot company Yao couldn't remember the name of, he'd probably be working as much as Yao did.

"Neither of you have jobs," Yao reminded them. "Someone has to pay the bills, aru. I don't mind working, not really."

Yong Soo rolled his eyes, "It's the _principle_, hyung. Working too much isn't good for you, and you know that. Besides, it makes me and Kiku look bad, da-ze."

"I'm not going to apologize for providing for you two," he frowned, giving his cousin a stern look. "You should be appreciative, aru. Not everyone has it as easy as you do, Yong Soo." He yawned. "If you need me, I'll be in my bedroom. I need a nap, aru."

And with that, he left the room, closing the door with a soft click. It wasn't until Yong Soo was fairly certain he was out of earshot that he turned to Kiku with a mischievous grin.

"Hey Kiku," he asked, catching his cousin's attention. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, da-ze?"

"I doubt it," came the flat response, "but for propriety's sake, let's assume that I am."

Yong Soo rolled his eyes. That was Kiku for you. But back to the point, "I think we should set hyung up, da-ze. Maybe if he had a girlfriend, he'd stop being so damn uptight all the time."

Kiku resisted the urge to sigh, glancing at the ceiling tiredly. He could already tell that this was going to end badly - but, he had to admit, Yong Soo had a point. When was the last time Yao actually dated someone? Three, four years ago?

"I know," Yong Soo continued, looking all too pleased with himself. "I'm a genius, da-ze. So, are you in or what?"

Kiku seemed to consider his options before answering. "I'll prove my assistance as needed," he said simply, but the underlying message was there. _I'll help you with your silly game, but I expect you to take full responsibility for your actions when something goes wrong._

Well, that was better than nothing, Yong Soo supposed. With a wide grin, he pumped his fist in the air.

"Then let's do this thing, da-ze!"

* * *

Their first attempt took place at the campus bar. It had taken much whining and pleading - as well as subtle persuasion on Kiku's part - but they had managed to convince Yao to join them for some drinks.

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea, aru." Yao took a cautious sniff of the suspicious blue - or was that green, he couldn't tell - drink Yong Soo pressed into his hand. "Can I go home soon, Yong Soo? I've been working all day, aru. I'm tired."

Yong Soo made a disgruntled noise. "But _hyung_," he whined, "we just got here. Don't be such a killjoy, da-ze! Just one drink, and then you can go home." He gave Yao the most pitiful look he could muster. "Please?"

"Kiku - " Yao turned to his brother for support - Kiku would understand; he knew how tired Yao got - only to find that he had left. "E-Eh? Where did he go?"

"He's probably talking to Heracles, da-ze." Yong Soo shrugged, waving the matter off flippantly. "Don't worry about him, hyung. What we _do _need to worry about is your repressed love life, da-ze. When was the last time you dated someone?"

If Yao had been a lesser person, he might have bristled with indignation or spluttered with poorly-disguised embarrassment. But seeing that he was neither Arthur Kirkland or Ludwig Beilschmidt, he did neither. Instead, Yao settled for simply staring red-faced at his cousin.

"Was it four years ago?" Yong Soo wondered. "Or was it five? Actually, now that I think about it, da-ze, it might have been longer than that. Hmm..."

"I-It's not really important, aru," Yao muttered, pointedly not meeting his cousin's gaze. "You know I don't have time to date. Between work and classes, I don't really have time for anything these days, aru."

He could feel the back of his neck turning red. Did they have to have this conversation now? What did Yong Soo know about his love life anyway?

"Don't worry, hyung." Yong Soo patted Yao's shoulder sympathetically, looking solemn. "I'm a great wingman, da-ze! I'll find you a girlfriend."

"No, Yong Soo, you're not, aru. You _really_ don't need to do th - "

"Seriously, hyung, relax. I've got this, da-ze."

Yong Soo turned to the girl sitting beside them. She was a pretty girl, small and petite with long hair and dark skin - and too young for Yao's taste, not that he was interested anyway but still.

"Hey Michelle!" his cousin was saying. "Have you met my cousin, Yao? He's really cute. I know he looks really boring and strict, but you should definitely date him, da-ze!"

"I'm sorry, aru." Yao apologized, grabbing Yong Soo's arm and dragging him away. "Don't say such things, Yong Soo! It's improper, aru, and not to mention rude! Besides, I already told you I'm not looking for a date, aru!"

"But hyung, you're so _lonely_!"

"Aiya! Enough, Yong Soo!"

Michelle watched the scene with amusement, laughing quietly to herself. If only Yong Soo knew the real reason why Yao was so adamantly refusing his help...Big brother Francis would definitely want to hear about this; he could use a good laugh.

* * *

The second attempt wasn't as much of an attempt as it was an epiphany of sorts. Yong Soo and his friends were hanging out at their usual table in the student center when _it_ happened.

"_Dude_!"

Yong Soo yelped, dropping the fry he had been stealing from Leon's plate as Alfred began frantically slapping his arm.

"Don't look now, but your cousin is _totally_ checking Liz out," his friend exclaimed.

"What? Are you being serious, da-ze?"

"No, don't do that - " Leon's quiet protests went unheard as Yong Soo, in all his lanky giraffe glory, scrambled over him to get a closer look. "Never mind."

Yao was sitting in the back of the student center, head propped up against his hand. Even from where Yong Soo was sitting, he could make out the almost _dreamy _expression on his cousin's face. Yao was staring intently across the room, seemingly captivated by the pretty girl working behind the counter in the café.

"You have to admit," Alfred whistled lowly, "your cousin has good taste, man."

Alfred was right. Yao did have an eye for the ladies. Elizabeta Héderváry was drop-dead gorgeous. Did he even have any idea how many guys liked her? Because they were a lot, and Yong Soo wasn't ashamed that he used to be one of them.

"This is great, da-ze!" Yong Soo crowed, laughing loudly enough to catch the attention of the other students sitting around them. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go talk to him, da-ze."

Before he could wriggle his way out of Leon's lap, his friend said something that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Are you sure he's staring at _Elizabeta_? She's not the only person standing over there, Yong Soo. For all we know, he could be looking at someone else."

"What are you talking about, bro?" Alfred questioned, not quite understanding what he was trying to say. "Yao's definitely checking out Liz; the only other people over there are dudes..."

He looked so hopelessly confused that Leon almost felt sorry for him, _almost_ being the keyword.

"I still don't get where you're coming from, man." The blond scratched the back of his head, casting another glance in Elizabeta's direction. "_Oh!_ You are _so _not saying what I think you're saying. You think Yao's got the hots for _Edelstein?_"

He looked horrified at the prospect. "Dude, everyone knows that Edelstein's apart of that weird European love polygon-thing."

"Love polygon?" echoed Leon, raising a brow skeptically. "What love polygon?"

"So, you know how Edelstein and Liz used to date? Well, they dated for a couple of months, but then Liz broke up with him to date Gilbert. Then _they _dated for a while, but then Gil got drunk at Feliciano's birthday party and made out with Edelstein. After that, Liz broke up with Gil, and he started dating some chick from Belarus for a while. _That_ didn't last very long. She was creepy as hell, dude. Some other stuff happened, but now I think Liz, Edelstein, and GIl are in some weird three-way relationship - "

"Who cares about that, da-ze?" Yong Soo exclaimed suddenly.

The pair jumped with a start. By the looks on their faces, they must have forgotten he was there. Well, that was their problem. There were way more important things at hand.

"There's no way Yao would check out a guy, da-ze!" he near shouted. "I think Kiku and I would know if hyung is gay or not! Right, Kiku?"

Kiku, who had been quietly eating his lunch, choked on his rice and began coughing. Yong Soo couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable his cousin looked, what with his red face and how he seemed determined not to meet any of their eyes.

"Aniki - " he hesitated, carefully considering his words, "is a very private person. He has never spoken to me about his...um, _sexuality _before, though I have questioned his orientation in the past - _not _that it's any of my business to pry in his personal affairs..."

Once Kiku had said his piece, he resumed calmly eating his lunch, though the embarrassed flush on his cheeks gave him away.

"That must be why our last attempt didn't work, da-ze," Yong Soo mused, muttering under his breath. "I thought it was just because Michelle wasn't his type..."

He perked up, "This is good though, da-ze! There are way more guys at this school than girls anyway!"

Kiku could do nothing but watch as his friends began to map out their 'attack strategy', casting worried glances at his brother every now and then.

"Didn't hyung spend a lot of time with that British guy last semester?"

"Who, Arthur? No way, dude! Cross him off the list; he's taken!"

"By who? Don't tell me you - "

"Shut _up_, Leon! It's not important! Well, what about that Sadik guy? You know, the one from Turkey. Don't they hang out a lot?"

"Don't be stupid, da-ze! They would be a horrible couple!"

"Why not?"

"Shut up, Leon! You're supposed to be on my side, da-ze!"

Kiku sighed softly, "This is not going to end well." He watched as the three began to quarrel, "It's going to end badly, _very _badly."

* * *

Yong Soo let out a weary sigh as he and Kiku finally arrived home. It had been a long day. He and his friends had spent almost three hours brainstorming possible boyfriends for his cousin, but no one seemed to fit what they were looking for. Most of the people they considered didn't even know who Yao was, let alone would want to date him.

"Tadaima," Kiku announced, toeing off his shoes and placing them in the closet. "The lights are still off; do you think aniki is still at work, Yong Soo?"

He shrugged, reaching into his pocket to check his phone. "Yeah, probably. It's earlier than we thought, da-ze. Hyung won't be back until six."

Kiku nodded curtly, murmuring something under his breath as he walked into the room that they shared. Yong Soo let out a sigh, yawning quietly. Why hadn't he realized how tired he was sooner? All that thinking was exhausting.

He hung his coat on the rack and trudged into the living room, where he immediately flopped onto the couch and fell asleep.

* * *

Yong Soo woke up to a loud crash. He sat up with a start, staring blearily at the clock. _4:30_, it read. What the hell? He had only been asleep for about twenty minutes.

"What the hell was that, da-ze?" he wondered. "Did Kiku drop something?"

It couldn't have been. Yong Soo could hear the faint sound of the shower running down the hallway. If Kiku hadn't dropped something and _he_ hadn't dropped something, who had?

"Pochi?" he called. Maybe Kiku's dog accidentally locked himself in Yao's room again. "Where are you, da-ze?"

He got off the couch, stretching his back as he walked over to Yao's bedroom. "Pochi?" he called again, opening the door.

There were three things that Yong Soo noticed when he opened the door. One, Pochi was definitely not in the room. Two, there were clothes everywhere, which was unusual for his neat cousin. Three, Yao was home early and curled up in his bed, joined by an unfamiliar man.

"Who the hell are you?" Yong Soo demanded, approaching the man cautiously. "And how did you get in hyung's bedroom, da-ze?"

The man was taller than he was and had much broader shoulders in comparison to Yong Soo's more slender frame. His hair was pale, and his eyes were strangely colored. Yong Soo didn't trust him at all.

"You are Yao's cousin, da?" the man asked, his accent thick and unfamiliar. "I am Ivan Braginski. Yao let me in; we are dating."

Ivan gave Yao an affectionate look, stroking his hair gently. That would explain the clothes on the floor and why Yao was shirtless. Yong Soo openly gaped as all the pieces fell into places.

"Hyung...let you in," Yong Soo echoed slowly, "and you're _dating _him?"

"Eh, Ivan...?" Yao murmured sleepily, evidently waking up for the first time. "What's going on? You're being noisy, aru."

"Sorry," Ivan apologized. "I was just talking to your cousin. He is Im Yong Soo, da?"

"My cousin?" he yelped, all the blood draining from his face. He scrambled to get away from Ivan, ignoring his boyfriend's confused look. "Yong Soo, what are you doing here? You weren't supposed be back yet, aru!"

"I could say the same about you, hyung," Yong Soo replied cooly, crossing his arms. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? I came home expecting an empty house, da-ze. Instead, I got this."

He gestured toward Yao and Ivan, "What the hell is going on?"

Yao raised a hand to massage his temples, closing his eyes wearily. "Yong Soo, this is my...boyfriend, Ivan. We have been dating for two months, aru. He works at the bookstore."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner, da-ze?" Yong Soo asked him, sounding hurt. "Do you not trust us, hyung?"

"No, it's not that, aru." Yao sighed. "It's just that _I _wasn't ready to explain this to you and Kiku."

"Explain what, hyung? That you like boys?" His cousin snorted. "Do you really think that would bother us? Kiku's all over that Greek boy of his, da-ze, and you know I don't care about that stuff."

"See? Did not I say the same thing?" Ivan looked smug as he pulled Yao back into his arms. It was almost comical how much of a height difference there was between them, Yong Soo thought. "You should listen to me more often, da?"

"Yes, Ivan. You were right. I should have listened to you, aru." Yong Soo snickered as he watched his cousin kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.

"So," he said conversationally, "when do you plan on telling Kiku about this?"

* * *

About a month later, Yong Soo found himself starting to regret asking so much in Yao's love life. Not to say that he didn't value his cousin's happiness - because he did - but this seemingly endless honeymoon stage was starting to get old.

"This is cute, aru!" Yao exclaimed happily, holding up a life-sized panda plushie.

It was Yao's birthday, and he had decided to spend it crammed in their little apartment with some of their friends. Yong Soo was stuck on the couch, trapped between Leon and Kiku.

"Da, it's very cute." Ivan beamed, smiling sweetly at his boyfriend. "It reminded me of you."

He leaned over to kiss Yao on the cheek, laughing as his boyfriend turned pink.

"A-Aiya!" Yao pushed Ivan away, cheeks burning. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that, aru? It's inappropriate to do such..._vulgar_ things in public!"

"Why not? Other couples kiss in public often here, da?"

Yong Soo pretended to gag, "When will it end? I think I'm going to be sick, da-ze."

"Stop complaining, Yong Soo," Leon muttered under his breath. "It's unbecoming."

"But they're so cute it's almost sickening, da-ze."

"Still. Behave."

Yong Soo heaved a sigh, sinking further against the couch as he sulked. He should be happy; he had finally gotten Yao to slow down. But now what was he going to do? He glanced at Kiku, who was trying to discreetly check his phone, and a grin broke out on his face.

"So, how are things going between you and Heracles, Kiku?"


End file.
